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We give a shout-out to Maggie who said she not only noticed we were gone for two weeks but that she missed us. She’s going to get a crown in our heaven one day.
Bonnie gets after the Google doodle on Father’s Day because it depicts ducks, a sore issue with Bonnie. Go listen to episode 1 or 2. One of them goes over the TRUE disposition of those cute, little ducks.
Thennnnn, it’s time to talk about the assholes who are preaching that LGBT people should be killed by the government. They’ve chosen Pride Month to really go off in the most non-Jesus-like way. Grayson Fritts, a pastor in the Knoxville, Tennessee area is also a police detective. You can watch the video here, if you can stomach it.
But wait. There’s more! You also get the Make America Straight Again conference in Orlando, Florida. Orlando Weekly gives details of the loser church that was the headquarters for the conference.
The Friendly Atheist website also gives a nice recounting of the “lowlights” of the conference.
The list of the lead hate-preachers are: Grayson Fritts, Roger Jimenez, Steven Anderson, Aaron Thompson, and Patrick Boyle.
Kudos to Christian Nightmares on Twitter who stayed on YouTube to take down the live feed of the conference, siting hate speech.
The Love Family started out pretty well, a commune that’s emphasis was living in the now—a lovely idea. On hemp paper.
The founder, Paul Erdmann, was said to be a used car salesman type. They were really into music, and that’s what attracted lots of their followers. That’s what would have made us jump off a bridge.
It all started when friends Paul and Brian Allen did LSD together. They felt the only thing that was real was love, so they renamed everyone after a virtue and the last name Isreal (“Is real.” Get it?). Paul got to be Love Isreal. Poor Brian got stuck with The name Logic.
This cult brought people from all over the country. It’s not like these new-fangled AOL chatrooms were around for people to find each other.
Soon it was time for Logic to start a coup. They wrote a letter to Love and he tore it up! Rip Torn.
Go watch the YouTube documentary because it’s a gem.
So, non-plot-twist, Love started getting greedy for power and money. One of the cult members was an heir to the DuPont fortune, and so Love started rolling in it—buying planes but not food or shoes for the cult kids.
We talk about how similar cults and regular religions are. We use the cult symptoms that Rick Ross lays out.
A few outtakes from the episode:
Can Bonnie and Karen find something funny about the Abortion ban that just passed in Alabama? We’re gonna try!
Bonnie found some great articles from satire at The Reductress to Noam Chomsky’s great
video of why the Southern states and evangelicals grabbed on to the abortion issue. Cory Doctorow gave a lovely recap that included our new favorite term “musketf*ckers.”
Karen and Bonnie both learned about sex in strange ways, from grandmothers to toilet notes.
The Bible never mentions “Do not Abort,” but the religious right picks out verses from the ancient pre-ultrasound era to say God knew you in the womb, sooooooo… Plus, they really love those ten Commandments. But Karen asks “Which Ones??” The ones in Exodus 34:6-7 or in Exodus 34:14-27—the one that includes lots to do with firstborns, donkeys, goats and sacrifices.God “repeated” his commandments to Moses after the first ones broke, but God’s memory seems to be lacking. Bonnie thought the breaking of the tablets was just a Mel Brooks scene from “The History of the World.”
Bonnie discloses a trip to Planned Parenthood. Oh, if Karen had known she even walked into that place when they were Christians, she would have shunned her.
Then it’s time to talk about Alabama and their low education standards and high telling-
people-what-to-do standard. We highly recommend the podcast S-Town, that isn’t about abortion, but an intelligent guy in Alabama trying to mentally get out.
We try and go through the logistics of the Alabama Abortion ban with 14 year olds lined up in prison or financially in debt with fines.
Karen talks about a young friend who had an abortion and Karen was conflicted with how relieved she was.
We finish with a perfect recounting of the hypocrisy of pro-lifers in a Facebook post by an Alabama minister named Dave Barnhart that should go viral.
This week, Karen and Bonnie poke at Franklin Graham, one of the most misreable-seeming men to be filled with the joy of salvation.
Graham tweeted a happy birthday to Melania Trump, calling her the classiest first lady AMERICA HAS EVER HAD. Eat it, Mary Washington and Jackie Kennedy! Twitter did their thing and went after him. We’re sure he has to ask for repentance after seeing all the photos people responded with.
Bonnie can’t help thinking of Franklin, the puppet from Arrested Development. Our intro and outro music is an homage to that show.
We go over how Franklin Graham got kicked out of school for keeping a coed out past curfew, a story Bonnie doesn’t totally believe. And, how the loving man of God publicly called for Pete Buttigieg to repent of his gayness.
Karen tells of staying at a beautiful castle in Colorado she didn’t know was the headquarters of the conservative college student group The Navigators. They also use it as a hotel. NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED. Karen died. Her funeral is Saturday.
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This week, Karen and Bonnie do something a little different by honoring exvangelical author and thinker Rachel Held Evans who passed away a few days ago at the age of 37.
Rachel wrote the satirical book “A Year of Biblical Womanhood,” where she tried to live as the Bible instructs women to be as a way to point out how ridiculous it is to follow the Bible to a T, but to follow the spirit of it. They also talk about her call to tell Christians how to do and use humor.
B and K take a swat at Franklin Graham’s tweet wishing Melania trump a happy birthday, and calling her the classiest first woman the country has ever ad, and what the average American thinks is classy.
Plus, they read a letter by The Graceful Atheist recounting his time as the MC of Action House, a program of hip and uber-cool church kids who reenact Christian music videos. Bonnie and Karen are as embarrassed for him as his wife is. There is also a cameo by Katy Perry in his story.
Bonnie and Karen has a few false starts this week as they talk about church lock-ins. Join us as we tell you about them in real time. Horny kids, pizza, one bathroom, what could go wrong?
Lock-ins have evolved since we were teens, and now there are bouncy castles and kids suing the church for stupid youth minister pranks. They get bands, go to Walmart, go to malls, jump at one of those trampoline places for exxxactly 90 minutes.
Karen tells about her kids have gone to church lock-ins. They were amazing and huge with concerts and junk food. Then they returned home with church “dollars” they could buy cheap-ass toys at the church, to get them to return.
They read a letter from Stacey about her Jewish kids attending a Baptist church funeral. Culture shock. Then down the Christian funeral spiral Karen and Bonnie go, going off about how faith funerals are less about the dead and more about trying to convert the attendees.
Bonnie tells about how she screamed at a pious co-worker once and feels badly about it. Karen tells her the woman deserved it. Then Karen shares her giddy moment of finding out kids put condoms all over her neighborhood the day before there was going to be an outside Easter service.
Don’t Be and Asshole!
Karen tells Bonnie about Paula White, an evangelist who “led Trump to Christ,” and has continued to be a big influence on him. It’s a story few know about, but everything becomes clear once you do.
We recorded this on the Saturday before Easter. Trump has inconvenienced Bonnie because both the laaaadies grew up near Mar-a-Lago, and Bonnie is still there. Trump has screwed up the US as well as the traffic in their hometown.
Karen launches into the story of how Trump became a Christian. It is the story of one Paula White, a televangelist who supposedly led him to Christ. If only Mar-a-Lago could have gotten more channels because Trump could only get a few stations and one would broadcast Paula White and Jim Bakke
Trump called her up and the rest is the most corrupt history ever. She led him to Christ, for whatever that’s worth, and told him when to run for president. She is his closest spiritual advisor. One of his others is Bonnie and Karen’s old pastor. Yay.
Paula White not only believes that God wants everyone to be rich (hmmm, no wonder Trump likes her), but she is on her third husband and it is no other than Jonathan Cain of Journey. Please enjoy this delightful clip of them singing together on the Jim Bakker show.
Bonnie reads a letter from Rose about all the things she wasn’t allowed to listen to or watch. Four of which are magic and David Bowie’s “bulge.”
For the Don’t Be An Asshole segment, Bonnie and Karen go off on people who filter out their facial lines for social media.
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Oh, and Happy Birthday, Steve!