Karen and Bonnie read a letter from a listener who had an unfortunate incident with a hymnal, they discuss the Satanic High Priest turned Christian comedian, Mike Warnke (all those monikers are LIES), and finish off with a discussion on body augmentation.
Bonnie recounts how much we were at church during the week growing up. Sundays all day, Wednesdays, going out with youth group friends and not tipping the waitstaff properly. A great witness for Christ.
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This week, K and B…Satan, Bonnie’s favorite subject. Karen recounts a story where a friend from Baptist college calls her after decades to ask her what she can tell him about being Wiccan because she announced she was an atheist. Soooo atheism = devilness.
Bonnie reads a listener’s letter about going to a Catholic school. An unfortunate incident occurs!It leads us to beg for someone to make crosstitch or draw or paint or graphic design “Cheetos and Jesus.”
Bonnie goes against all our mission statements for the podcast and does RESEARCH, sharing about a special sink and drain that Catholic churches have to get rid of communion left-overs, even when they are combined with gross things (see above letter).
Then we get into the shyster of Church in the 80s. Mike Warnke, Satanist High Priest-turned Christian comedian. Oh, this fucking guy. What a conman. But his lies molded a generation and impacted their mental health.
DBAA (Don’t Be an Asshole)
Bonnie tells about responding to mean Christians with their own medicine. She also says, “nani nani boo boo.”
Karen talks about getting botox and is not ashamed!
We love all our listeners and it’s so fun to interact on all the socials! Have a great week.
Bonnie and Karen discuss signs from heaven. Does God send signs to show his love, direction, or hilarious humor? Or is life random? Plus—they get kicked off an ex-Christian forum for being “therapists,” God sends Karen a busload of male dancers, and they read a letter from Faith, who proves her name is ironic.
We still pander for Facebook likes, Ratings, and Reviewers (click over there to the right to be taken to iTunes).
Signs and wonders are a way God supposedly still shows his face these days. Whether it’s a butterfly that lands on your shoulder or, like Karen’s story of an old Baptist acquaintance posted, God blessing a family and their move into a new house by making the weather good that morning (also happening right then? The Haiti earthquake that killed children).
B and K read a letter from Faith about all the amazing ways God gives signs to his people. Forget the rainbow after the rain, bring on the discount on a Smart Car!
Bonnie tells about all the signs that appeared when she was trying to pitch a television show about Robbie Williams, and Karen recounts her time of swearing off guys to focus on God. And then what comes barreling down the road, stops
and asks her a question? A busload of Chippendale dancers. Oh, God, you crack us up!
DBAA (Don’t Be an Asshole):
Karen and Bonnie are revamping our ending segment a bit to tell of when we’ve been assholes. Somehow, they end up still complementing themselves in the process. Bonnie talks about being impatient while Karen called someone a shit pile. But they’re also thankful for things like television and dog grooming.
Karen and Bonnie discuss Proverbs 31—being a gawdly woman. They’re off to buy flax and wool to sell at the market, deliver sashes to who knows who, get up at the crack of dawn and make stuff for their household, while also dressing them oddly in purple and red. If you don’t know the verses in the Bible that tell all the tasks women need to be up to, then crack the Word.
Bonnie reads a few verses—there are way too many—where we find our woman being a perky worker while the man literally sits.
Karen tells of her workbook, The Virtuous Woman, which she started when she was a wee teen and then moved on to the Women’s Devotional Bible. The Bible had devotionals by Ruth Graham and Joni Eareckson Tada in it. Remember her and her horrifying story?!
A freak accident of Joni becoming paralyzed make Bonnie and Karen paranoid as youngsters.
But, we can’t get over listener Jenni’s hilarious letter about pulling a “rapture prank” on someone at her Christian college.
We turn serious and tell you about a great organization, Recovering From Religion. Help is there if you need it.
Will you be on the toilet when the rapture comes? This week, Karen and Bonnie fumble through some rapture theories, reminisce about the times they thought they’d been left behind, and, well, that brings up the book series Left Behind—which spawned D movies starring Kirk Cameron and Nicholas Cage. Plus a gross letter about feet from a listener.
We’re playing with show notes and seeing what people need/will read. Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here are some of the clickable and gawkable highlights:
The rapture movie that scared the shit out of a generation: A Thief in the Night. I see you can watch it on Amazon Prime and YouTube. Have a blast.
Make it a rapture horror binge. See Kirk Cameron not smiling. Watch Nicholas Cage looking like he always does in serious roles.
Watch out for the Anti-Christ figure. He is supposed to be a charismatic leader who does makes even Christians think he’s godly.
We read a letter from an anonymous woman who taught at a Catholic school. During a faculty retreat, they had to wash people’s feet. She is forever damaged from having to wash “that creepy teacher’s” toe jam.
This week’s (did you notice we’ve moved to weekly?) QNTBWA—Quest Not To Be Whiney Assholes—Bonnie’s thankful for SNL keeping the humor real. Pete Davidson’s joke comparing the boycott of R. Kelley to the non-boycott of the Catholic church and its abuse issues was spot on.
Karen is thankful that the sun finally came out where she lives. Her light box has been her assistance animal.
She was also thankful for National Women’s Day, although Bonnie has her reservations. Then there are the tennis players who just don’t get it at all.
We want to give a shout-out to the podcast Everyone’s Agnostic. They do an amazing job at really digging into the deconversion experience. AND they employ substance, something we do not. Give them a listen!
Bonnie and Karen attempt to explain why the incredible story told in the Netflix documentary that has everyone freaking out, Abducted in Plain Sight (spoilers ahead), makes more sense when you grow up in church.
Hi, everyone. On this episode we, Karen and Bonnie, asked for people to review us on your podcatcher of choice.
There’s a meme contest going on over at our Facebook Page. And if you want to discuss the podcast or anything related to it, you can request to join our closed discussion group. By the way, the winner of the meme contest gets a heathen prophecy.
Although Bonnie and Karen grew up in the Southern Baptist church, Karen went non-denominational, so had experience with prophecies and healings and having the demons of yoga and intellectualism (too much thinkingggg) cast out of her. It didn’t take, we assume.
Then B and K get into the real stuff—the Netflix documentary Abducted in Plain Sight. There are spoilers, if you think you’re going to watch it. However, if you’re not, Bonnie summarizes it. People have been losing their minds over the documentary, but B and K think they can see why this kind of thing could happen: the church. In this case, the Mormon church, which is even odder than ours was.
We read a hilarious letter from listener Gabe that echoes that church kids can be pretty messed up. Yay us!
Karen then goes off on a recent ploy from Nashville churches to send postcards out to a thousand residents. Karen is very salty about this bullshit.
In this episode, we reveal who we are: REALLY BIG CELEBRITIES. Or perhaps we discuss some real ones who are showing up as trendy Christians on social media—Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber, Sherilyn Fenn, Kendall Kardashian.
We kick off the show by telling you about a great podcast that takes on the more serious issues of deconverting from religion: Out of the Fold. They aim to unite all apostates in a supportive atmosphere. Check them out.
*Plus, we just opened a Facebook Page and Facebook discussion group. Please like, join, share. There’s a meme contest going on right now. If we choose yours, you get a podcast shout-out and a heathen prophecy. Our discussion group is private, so your mom won’t know a thing!
Karen gives a shout out to her soulmate David Spade before we introduce our new segment, “Quest to Not Be a Whiny Asshole.” Basically, it is something that made us happy from the previous week. Bonnie proves nicer and more
intelligent than Karen by bringing up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs diagram and brags that she’s NOT severely lactose intolerant like Karen but still is in love with a creamer called Nut Pods (which Karen says reminds her of gonads).
Bonnie also brings back the convo to tennis and Rafa Nadal as she talks about her friend Brewster asking her about a perfect day and recounts enjoying the US Open tennis Fan Week.
Karen reads a letter from listener Eloise talking about how she, like Karen, was a tiny Bible scholar of the Bible. So much so that 7 or 8-year-old Eloise corrected her pastor during a sermon! She wishes her head had been filled with helpful information like the periodic table of contents. Me, too, child. Me, too. Yet, it was that study of the Bible that led me, Karen, right out the ass end of Christianity.
Karen’s QN2BWA (Quest Not to be a Whiny Asshole) was about schooling a super Christian on the fact that Paul never met Jesus. Again, Bonnie is the nicer of us, obviously.
Bonnie paraphrases an article from VOX about the new wave of Christianity being popularized by celebs like Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber, etc. The spin is about how the “new” church like Zoe, Hillsong, and whatnot.
But Ellen Page slaps back on social media and talk shows that Chris Pratt’s church is anti-LGBT and how it leads to self-hate and worse among youth.
We give free publicity to more celebs when Bonnie reveals she might be the same person as Sherilyn Fenn from Twin Peaks. And a story where Burt Reynolds would rather drown than be witnessed to. (Also in this episode: Eckhart Tolle, Russell Brand, Blair from Facts of Life, and Farrah Fawcett).
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On this week’s episode, Bonnie and Karen discuss the fateful missionary trip of John Chau, a zealot young man who was killed by a remote tribe in late November of 2018.
But first, they talk about what they’re happy about this week, or grateful for, or something that is going to have a more clever name in the future but they’re coming up blank right now.
Bonnie’s happy she’s put into practice something she heard Georgia Hardstark say on the My Favorite Murder podcast—being not just grateful, but recognizing when you feel happy/good/joyful. Karen’s thankful for meds. All them. And that’s when they acknowledge Deconversion Therapy wouldn’t have come into being without MF
We read a letter from a guy on Reddit who felt he was to be one of God’s great prophets (get in line behind Karen, reddit-boy), and goes to not just share the gospel with someone, but hopes to turn her from gay to straight.
They discuss John Chau, the young man who died when he went to try and witness to an island of isolated tribespeople. It’s a sad and misunderstood story, but it brings up our witnessing snafus. Bonnie witnessed on a tennis court while Karen did a pantomime with a mission group in India and taught monks in Thailand. They did not, in fact, usher anyone into the kingdom of heaven.
<– Earnest guy, no shade.